Heimskr’s High Horse – Star Wars S&M

After last week’s information drought, it was nice to see Zenimax putting out content that the community can digest within a few minutes and then immediately ask for more. I feel that the MMO community as a whole is like a clutch of baby birds — yapping their beaks off cause mom and dad can’t bring them enough food fast enough. That’s alright though because everyone loves baby birds :)

Development – What you need to know!

Ask Us Anything: Alliances at War

For any of you that have been following the game since at least the announcement of beta signups, you will know that the “Ask Us Anything” posts are typically the most information packed pieces Zenimax puts out. This week did not disappoint with the Ask Us Anything: Alliances at War; a Q/A on PvP.

Now, here’s the part where I get irate. If you (the community) are given the opportunity to ask questions to the developers, for the love of Talos ask something that matters! Some of the questions they answered in their AUA were downright idiotic and surface to the extreme. As an example:

As a serious roleplayer from multiple games and guilds/communities, I find it essential for immersion to have places to chat and roleplay with my friends and strangers such as taverns and unique open-spaced and furnished buildings. Will there be open-spaced buildings in the major cities and outside them? – By Ryan Houghton

chris hansenAlright, Ryan, please take a seat – right there – please take a seat Ryan. I will ignore the fact you started your question off as “As a serious roleplayer…” and I’ll also ignore your push towards self-entitlement. What I won’t ignore is the nature of the question. You are essentially asking if an Elder Scrolls game will be built to offer roleplay in the forms of taverns, unique open-world spaces, etc. Are you kidding me? Of course there will be those places. If you even questioned the fact that a Tolkien-esque fantasy MMORPG would have taverns, you are not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Now let’s assume that on the off chance there were no taverns in Elder Scrolls Online (The equal chance of a Gyarados and a wood mouse mating), does it really matter? The essence of a roleplayer is to create their own universe and develop their own adventures. You can make it as basic as pretending to be master/padawan when playing SWG or as complex as the role of a dungeon master in D&D. The onus of roleplaying is on YOU.

Now that I’m done ranting, if you want an in-depth analysis of the AUA, please check out @Nybling (s) AVA Q&A Breakdown.

BSWU Boston – In, Out and Around the Booth

Do Your PartThis week, Bethesda put out a video featuring the booth and players from PAX East. It really has no direct relevance to the Elder Scrolls Online, but it’s great to see the fans and the developers in an up-beat video.

ESO Poster Challenge

Are you a talented drawer with the desire to win sweet ESO loot? Well if you are, give your hand at the ESO poster challenge! If you would like to participate, please head over to their official Tumblr page and use the tag “ESO Poster Challenge”. Now here’s the catch. Your submission must not contain any vulgar, sexual, or copyrighted content. Come on now, you can’t tell me that the poster to the right isn’t a winner! Nothing says family fun like Star Wars S&M.

Truth be told, I have little to no artistic talent. I would end up drawing Heimskr (stick figure) proselytizing to a giant  (also a stick figure) while a mammoth is sneaking (stick figure drawn with a big marker) up behind Heimskr for some hardcore Kancho. (SFW)

Fray Lithograph

Oh my Talos, a sweet lithograph! Now before you whip at your wallet, know that this is on pre-sale and won’t be available till May 10, 2013.

This picture is confusing. It looks like all three factions are working together to fend off a hoard of werewolves. What is this tomfoolery?! The Nord should be turned around about to hack that sneaky rogue guy to pieces while the AD elf should be making a sweet pose in about HALF the armor. You know what; you can leave the picture if the elf is wearing bikini armor. We cool?


The Cogwheels of Tamriel Foundry – After Hours

Tamriel Foundry ESO Survey

@Nybling put together a survey for the ESO community which has seen a considerable amount of attention both on our website, but also on the ESO subreddit and official Bethesda forums. If you have time, please fill out this short survey on how you intend on playing ESO!

After Dark: Ep. 3 – Come Here Often?

Felord, Felyx, and Blade are back in Episode 3 of After Dark. If you want to hear their breakdown of the AUA and other random shenanigans, go give them a listen!

Weekly Screenshot Dissection – Valenwood?

@Atropos has started a new weekly feature which dissects screenshots of The Elder Scrolls Online. This week, Atropos tackled a picture of what we believe is Valenwood, the home of the Bosmer. Check out his dissection and let us know what you think in the comment section!


After Hours Club

The After Hours Club is a special section in Heimskr’s High Horse to look over the most popular, the most controversial, and the most insightful community topics of the week. This week we have three threads that are sure to satisfy your curiosity or feed the fires of internet barbarism.

  1. The popular thread of the week goes to @Nybling and his Tamriel Foundry ESO Survey thread. This is a continuation from Cogwheel section above, but if you would like to discuss the results of the survey itself, please post in that thread.
  2. This week’s insightful post of the week goes to @Braxx and his post on Neverwinter – The Foundry. Now before you say “But Byronyk, that’s not an ESO feature!” calm yourself. This thread talks about the functionality of the Foundry within Neverwinter and its possible application to ESO. I have personally tried out the Foundry in Neverwinter and think it would make a fantastic edition to ESO.
  3. The infamous controversial post of the week goes to an older thread by @Deftknight and his thread Stamina – The Ultimate Resource? I’ve done plenty of theorycrafting with @Fizzle on the topic of stamina and it’s definitely one worth looking into. If you want more details on the topic, please click the link above!


I hope you enjoyed Heimskr’s High Horse. Next week already has some great information waiting to be posted, so come back, stay awhile, and listen.

16 responses to “Heimskr’s High Horse – Star Wars S&M”

  1. Profile Photo


    Total Posts: 2948

    Ebonheart Templar

    Tamriel Foundry Community

    while the AD elf should be making a sweet pose in about HALF the armor.

    Suuure, why not. The surprisingly low number of sexualized women could need a boost.

    You should buy new hooks for your brain. It keeps falling off and landing between your legs ;)

    Relax, I’m only being serious.

  2. Profile Photo


    Total Posts: 487

    Imperial Nightblade

    The Gaiscioch Family

    Infamous?! Controversial?! I’ll have you know I’m a paragon of virtue, haha! Cheers for the mention @Byronyk.


    Also, @Nybling has now closed his survey after more a thousand responses (!) and should be releasing the results sometime next week. See the last post in Tamriel Foundry ESO Survey thread for details.

  3. Profile Photo
    Umaril the Unfeathered


    Total Posts: 3414

    Altmer Sorcerer

    That Valenwood pic’s been bothering me, too!

    *Eagerly awaits Tuesday or Wednesday for Survey results*

    I may have to check Neverwinter out for myself, at some point.

    Anyway, another awesome article @Byronyk!

    *Formerly known by the username ”GarlasMalatar”*

    ”What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”Paarthurnax

    ”Shanta, ehlno.  Tyavoy balangua!” ~ Umaril the Unfeathered

    ”Welcome, Nerevar. Together we shall speak for the Law and the Land and shall drive the mongrel dogs of the Empire from Morrowind.” ~ Dagoth Ur

  4. Profile Photo
    Boromir WolfsBane


    Total Posts: 214

    Nord Templar


    Awesome article good job :)



  5. Profile Photo


    Total Posts: 104



  6. Profile Photo


    Total Posts: 136

    Imperial Dragonknight

    I would try my hand at making a Soviet propaganda-style poster for the ESO contest, but I don’t know which race is the Russians.

    I do find it refreshing that the artists at ZOS are giving female characters the same level of protection as the men. If the armoring only covers 5% of your body, you may as just use an actual bikini—less weight, more freedom of movement.

    When I grow up, I’m gonna be an assassin. That way I can help lots of children, just like you! – Aventus Arentino

  7. Profile Photo


    Total Posts: 1788

    Altmer Templar

    Entropy Rising

    Thess said on April 29, 2013 :

    I don’t know which race is the Russians.

    Nords. In Soviet Skyrim, You eat Dragon!

  8. Profile Photo
    Boromir WolfsBane


    Total Posts: 214

    Nord Templar


    forgot to mention the picture that is 2nd to the bottom is epic!!! :)



  9. Profile Photo
    Kaan Ulfbrandr


    Total Posts: 332

    Ebonheart Dragonknight

    Legacy of the Companions

    I am in the same position as you Byronyk. I may be a reasonable drawer, but I know there are a lot of more experienced fans out there who can make some great concept art for games using photo-editing programs. However, I’m not going to give, up, I still reckon I can nab third! I wonder who out of Entropy Rising is entering?

  10. Member Avatar


    Total Posts: 10


    Good article. I was thinking pretty much the same thing when I read the question about taverns in ESO.



    “I do find it refreshing that the artists at ZOS are giving female characters the same level of protection as the men.”

    Oh, so this is were you draw the line in a completely, 100% fantasy world? LOL, cant have female characters running around in skimpy armor because that just wouldnt be accurate, eh?

    All war is deception. In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.
  11. Profile Photo
    Boromir WolfsBane


    Total Posts: 214

    Nord Templar


    the poster challenge seems very interesting i would like to see what end results look like i hope they end up being well drawn :)



  12. Profile Photo


    Total Posts: 137

    Dunmer Sorcerer

    Yeah it just hit me that, I haven’t seen too many of sexualised women pictures, which there always is plenty of but for some reason not for this game, but i guess they will become more frequent when the game comes out. Anyways thank you!

    Respect creates friendships, Loyalty binds them. Hlaevi Family motto. 

  13. Profile Photo


    Total Posts: 9


    Powerful screen shots.


  14. Profile Photo
    m aIq


    Total Posts: 250

    Dunmer Sorcerer

    Discover Eventide

    /scratches arm compulsively

    what gives man?

    /twitches nervously eyeing surroundings with suspicion

    its already monday, man, I need my High………..Horse

  15. Profile Photo
    m aIq


    Total Posts: 250

    Dunmer Sorcerer

    Discover Eventide

    i just killed 3 whores in order to get money for my replacement High………horse. you owe 3 mothers and 4 fathers (they grew up to be whores, even Maury is unsure) the .23 lives that each whore is worth. this is your fault Byronyk

  16. Profile Photo


    Total Posts: 172

    Breton Nightblade

    I approve of that SWG poster

    From the shadows we will strike as wraiths, decimating our foes and disapearing into the darkness as a shadow from an overcast day

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