Heimskr’s High Horse – Star Wars S&M

After last week’s information drought, it was nice to see Zenimax putting out content that the community can digest within a few minutes and then immediately ask for more. I feel that the MMO community as a whole is like a clutch of baby birds — yapping their beaks off cause mom and dad can’t bring them enough food fast enough. That’s alright though because everyone loves baby birds :)

Development – What you need to know!

Ask Us Anything: Alliances at War

For any of you that have been following the game since at least the announcement of beta signups, you will know that the “Ask Us Anything” posts are typically the most information packed pieces Zenimax puts out. This week did not disappoint with the Ask Us Anything: Alliances at War; a Q/A on PvP.

Now, here’s the part where I get irate. If you (the community) are given the opportunity to ask questions to the developers, for the love of Talos ask something that matters! Some of the questions they answered in their AUA were downright idiotic and surface to the extreme. As an example:

As a serious roleplayer from multiple games and guilds/communities, I find it essential for immersion to have places to chat and roleplay with my friends and strangers such as taverns and unique open-spaced and furnished buildings. Will there be open-spaced buildings in the major cities and outside them? – By Ryan Houghton

chris hansenAlright, Ryan, please take a seat – right there – please take a seat Ryan. I will ignore the fact you started your question off as “As a serious roleplayer…” and I’ll also ignore your push towards self-entitlement. What I won’t ignore is the nature of the question. You are essentially asking if an Elder Scrolls game will be built to offer roleplay in the forms of taverns, unique open-world spaces, etc. Are you kidding me? Of course there will be those places. If you even questioned the fact that a Tolkien-esque fantasy MMORPG would have taverns, you are not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Now let’s assume that on the off chance there were no taverns in Elder Scrolls Online (The equal chance of a Gyarados and a wood mouse mating), does it really matter? The essence of a roleplayer is to create their own universe and develop their own adventures. You can make it as basic as pretending to be master/padawan when playing SWG or as complex as the role of a dungeon master in D&D. The onus of roleplaying is on YOU.

Now that I’m done ranting, if you want an in-depth analysis of the AUA, please check out @Nybling (s) AVA Q&A Breakdown.

BSWU Boston – In, Out and Around the Booth

Do Your PartThis week, Bethesda put out a video featuring the booth and players from PAX East. It really has no direct relevance to the Elder Scrolls Online, but it’s great to see the fans and the developers in an up-beat video.

ESO Poster Challenge

Are you a talented drawer with the desire to win sweet ESO loot? Well if you are, give your hand at the ESO poster challenge! If you would like to participate, please head over to their official Tumblr page and use the tag “ESO Poster Challenge”. Now here’s the catch. Your submission must not contain any vulgar, sexual, or copyrighted content. Come on now, you can’t tell me that the poster to the right isn’t a winner! Nothing says family fun like Star Wars S&M.

Truth be told, I have little to no artistic talent. I would end up drawing Heimskr (stick figure) proselytizing to a giant  (also a stick figure) while a mammoth is sneaking (stick figure drawn with a big marker) up behind Heimskr for some hardcore Kancho. (SFW)

Fray Lithograph

Oh my Talos, a sweet lithograph! Now before you whip at your wallet, know that this is on pre-sale and won’t be available till May 10, 2013.

This picture is confusing. It looks like all three factions are working together to fend off a hoard of werewolves. What is this tomfoolery?! The Nord should be turned around about to hack that sneaky rogue guy to pieces while the AD elf should be making a sweet pose in about HALF the armor. You know what; you can leave the picture if the elf is wearing bikini armor. We cool?


The Cogwheels of Tamriel Foundry – After Hours

Tamriel Foundry ESO Survey

@Nybling put together a survey for the ESO community which has seen a considerable amount of attention both on our website, but also on the ESO subreddit and official Bethesda forums. If you have time, please fill out this short survey on how you intend on playing ESO!

After Dark: Ep. 3 – Come Here Often?

Felord, Felyx, and Blade are back in Episode 3 of After Dark. If you want to hear their breakdown of the AUA and other random shenanigans, go give them a listen!

Weekly Screenshot Dissection – Valenwood?

@Atropos has started a new weekly feature which dissects screenshots of The Elder Scrolls Online. This week, Atropos tackled a picture of what we believe is Valenwood, the home of the Bosmer. Check out his dissection and let us know what you think in the comment section!


After Hours Club

The After Hours Club is a special section in Heimskr’s High Horse to look over the most popular, the most controversial, and the most insightful community topics of the week. This week we have three threads that are sure to satisfy your curiosity or feed the fires of internet barbarism.

  1. The popular thread of the week goes to @Nybling and his Tamriel Foundry ESO Survey thread. This is a continuation from Cogwheel section above, but if you would like to discuss the results of the survey itself, please post in that thread.
  2. This week’s insightful post of the week goes to @Braxx and his post on Neverwinter – The Foundry. Now before you say “But Byronyk, that’s not an ESO feature!” calm yourself. This thread talks about the functionality of the Foundry within Neverwinter and its possible application to ESO. I have personally tried out the Foundry in Neverwinter and think it would make a fantastic edition to ESO.
  3. The infamous controversial post of the week goes to an older thread by @Deftknight and his thread Stamina – The Ultimate Resource? I’ve done plenty of theorycrafting with @Fizzle on the topic of stamina and it’s definitely one worth looking into. If you want more details on the topic, please click the link above!


I hope you enjoyed Heimskr’s High Horse. Next week already has some great information waiting to be posted, so come back, stay awhile, and listen.